New Motherhood

I love playing with my kids. For a moment I shut out all the other tasks that are begging to be done and just be with my kids. My four year old and I trade off who is the teacher/mom and who is the student/daughter. It melts my heart when  Ainslie is the mom and she calls me "sweetie," asked me how my day went and gives me a big hug.

I love the funny pretend names she comes up with, Brenice, Sasha andTasha, Blinken. I love hearing my baby laugh and looking into her pure eyes as experiences the wonder of the world. We had so much fun the other day playing with the neighbor's dogs through the back fence. All we could see was it's little black nose poking through a knot hole and Evelyn couldn't get enough of it. I thought she might burst with happiness. I'm in the stage where I am my children's whole world. I feel lucky that I am the one who gets to experience each new thing with them. Glad that for this moment I can shield them from pain that they will inevitably face and look forward to the people they will become.

I love that being a mom helps me become the person I've always wanted to be. The challenges I face as a mom help me identify and work to change my weaknesses.  I remember as a young mom being so impatient when my little baby kept me from eating, sleeping or using the bathroom when I wanted. When my second child came I was amazed that I had developed the ability to put my personal needs on hold to meet the needs of my children. 

I still have lots of rough edges to get worked off. Becoming a more caring, selfless person is one of my greatest life goals and my children are helping get better each day. When I look at my own parents I see two very good hearted people, whose pure intentions and love for God were really the only guides they had to be good parents. They never gave up and worked tirelessly and selfless on what they've always regards as their greatest treasure. I've seen that their efforts have been multiply many times. Family is truly one of those synergistic activities. Although on the microscopic day to day level it is sometimes difficult to see, when I look back to my family of origin of my parents I see the outcome of their diligent efforts are even greater than the input.

About the Author: Janae recently finished a Master degree in Public Administration. She lives with her husband and two kids in Utah where her husband works as a lawyer. She enjoys working with non-profit organizations in her community.